Wash Your Wall Off With Soap

"Wash your wall off with soap" just doesn't have the same fear producing punch as the age old dreaded threat of "wash your mouth out with soap". Yet when the terms come into play, we're reminded that bad language is bad manners and unacceptable. Social media users would be best advised to remember the admonitions of Mom and Dad and watch their language both verbally and online. Even though close friends may talk the same language, cursing is considered offensive and disrespectful by most.  

Would you swear in a job interview? Of course not. Do you know that a future employer will never see your online posts? Of course not.

When you're at a family reunion would you let out an expletive studded tirade for all to hear? Not likely. Are any of your aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. 'friends' or followers on your online social sites? Yes, that's likely.

If you just spilled coffee all over your pants at the local coffee shop could an immediate reflex be a profanity? Possibly. Would others within earshot fully realize what provoked you to use the word and forgive and forget it? Probably. Could the same be said of a post you make today regarding the incident and your response if and when it's read 3 years from now? Doubtfully.

Many of us know first-hand the experience of the dreadful slip-of-the-tongue. Even a slight lapse can produce embarassment and apologies followed by explanations. More simply stated, sometimes the mouth starts running before the brain is engaged. Online behavior is at least one step less impulsive because we have a chance to read what we're typing before hitting send. Unless we're called out on the use of profanity online, we have no way of knowing who was offended so no apologies, explanations or offers of "pardon my French" will follow. Yet weeks, months and years later the post is still there, and so are the consequences. 

People tend to forget who their audience is on social media sites. Even though your online exchanges may be limited to just a couple dozen people, those who have access to your sites are likely to be numbered in the hundreds. And some of them, you haven't even met yet.

Have a topic you'd like to see discussed on Simply Squirrel Food? Send me an email I'd love to hear from you.

Wall of Spam

If my Facebook wall could talk, surely it would break into a round of Monty Python's iconic ode to Spam. "Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Lovely Spam! Lovely Spam!"  Only the spam being served in my newsfeed is pretty hard to swallow.

In the technical sense, spam is defined as any unsolicited commercial advertisement distributed online. Spam can be delivered in many ways including but not limited to bulk emails, newsletters, blog and article comments as well as social media updates. That means marketing messages from personal non-business Facebook pages to 'friends' are spam. If it's unsolicited and commercial in nature, it's spam.

Having been a small business owner, I recognize the need and value of keeping everyone in the know and up-to-date about business activities. Entrepreneurs, in particular, have great difficulty separating their personal selves from their business identities. Understandable, and as far as I'm concerned, an occasional post about what's happening in your business would be totally expected. It's part of your life and friends talk about work amongst friends.

But is there a secret society somewhere that is awarding points for how many other businesses you can promote on your wall? I recently read a post that went something like this:

Rick’s auto shop (hot linked) has a special on tune-ups and oil changes this week. But if your car is on its last legs stop by Busytown’s Auto Lot (hot linked) and tell Jim Peabody (hot linked) Mona from Happy Home Cleaning (hot linked) sent you.

Or how about the multilevel marketer that posts 10 times a day about how great her products are and how much money she's making? Several others I know routinely pitch other businesses along with their own, sometimes 2-3 in a row. I'm pretty certain their business networking groups are awarding gold stars for the most referral-type pitches made in a single day. I know one woman who could start building a model of the constellation Pegasus with all of her stars. How effective is it? It isn't.

I have the choice to 'friend' people and 'like' businesses. Of course, in real life I like people too. What I don't like is when friends make an excessive amount of business pitches on Facebook. Sometimes it rankles me so much I want to scream out like the lady in the Monty Python sketch "I DON'T LIKE SPAM!"

Have a topic you'd like to see discussed on Simply Squirrel Food? Send me an email I'd love to hear from you.

Keep it Off the Wall

Facebook is neither a soft shoulder nor a diary. There is no promise of compassion or privacy. Yet some people insist on posting everything from the minutiae of their daily lives to their deepest most intimate thoughts. What you had for dinner might bore someone but isn't likely to make anybody uncomfortable. Creating posts of what should be private will.

If you're angry at your husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, mother/father or whoever - please don't bother to share it with us. We're sorry for your difficulties but don't want to hear about them. We have enough problems of our own and turn to social media looking for relaxation and fun. If it's venting you need, consider setting up a diary, either a handwritten journal or an electronic version will do. If it's pity and support you're looking for, call a good friend or a therapist. Most of the 600+ people you list as 'friends' aren't really close enough or interested enough to care.

How's your sex life? Don't answer, we really don't have a need to know. Do you think Grandpa and Grandma along with your boss, co-workers and everyone else really wanted to know your carefully laid plans for a Valentine's Day date that included the surprise gift of champagne, roses and yourself in a hotel room? And how was he really not going to know he was destined to be your latest conquest when you put it on Facebook?

Another bad day at work? Co-workers getting on your nerves? Not enough time to get everything done, not enough money to alleviate the aggravation? Posting your frustrations all over Facebook won't fix any of it. However, it could make all those problems go away when you lose that job for badmouthing your employer in such a public way.

Remember The Party Principle: Post the types of things you'd be comfortable saying at a large party that is attended by people you know well, some you've just met and others you don't know at all. If you wouldn't stand in the middle of the room and announce something there for everyone to hear, then think twice before you post it on Facebook or Twitter.

Social media platforms are public. Many details of your life are private. Understanding and respecting the difference between Facebook and a diary will result in making you and your dozens of friends more comfortable.

Now, how about this weather?

Designate a Thinker if You're a Drinker

Sometime in my past I was guilty of being at a party or two and having a little too much to drink. I know I probably said and did some crazy things, but my fellow revelers forgave me because they were being pretty crazy too. Though the expression hadn't been coined yet, everyone adhered to the tacit consent of "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" rule. We seldom had to worry about how our behavior would look in the bright glare of daylight because, by then, nobody could remember most of it anyway. Now, thanks to technology, everything has changed.

These days cellphones have become an essential party accessory. Now party goers can easily share their fun with everyone on Facebook, Twitter and other sites. Multiple pictures can accompany the ode to camaraderie and alcohol. The more fun they're having, the more they share. And by the bright glare of daylight - it's all still there.

Imagine you, as the party goer, still sleeping off the affects of the past night, while all of your sane and sober 'friends' and followers are reading your posts. There's a good chance they just won't see the humor of you being tagged in a photo with your shirt pulled up over your head. And how about that moon shot? Surely your boss has a sense of humor right? By the time you actually check-in to your social media sites, even you might have second thoughts about where the line of appropriateness is, but by then it's too late.

Just like responsible drinkers designate drivers, responsible drinkers should designate thinkers. Turn over your cellphone and car keys to someone you can trust to keep you safe in both your physical and online lives. People who are not fit to drive are likely not fit enough to post updates either. To keep what happens in Vegas in Vegas, keep your hands off your mobile devices and get your party friends to agree to the same. That way you won't have to apologize or explain anything to your online list of friends and followers that is made up of everyone from your school days to friends, relatives (young and old) and employers (past, present and future).

The Creeper Peeper

A friend of mine had a big shock recently when she logged into Facebook. On the right side of her wall, in the section labled "People you may know" was a picture of her ex-husband with her minor-aged grandson. The ex had set up an account with a fictitious name because Facebook had previously banned him for posting pronography.

In a fit of frustration, my friend quickly posted a tirade of venom on her wall to which her ex immediately attempted to respond by text and telephone. Not accepting his calls, he left voicemail messages trying to explain the name change was completely harmless.

This woman felt completely violated that this man was able to read everything she shared on Facebook. To complicate the matter, the grandson is not related to him. The picture was taken at a public event where they all happened to be in attendance.

I advised this friend to make her profile settings private to block the cyber-eavesdropping of this man and others, but what do you suggest she do about the bigger issues of a man using a false identity that included a picture of her grandson? Unfortunately she didn't note the new name before she changed her profile settings.

SSF Readers: Please share your advice. How would you handle a situation like this? We look forward to reading your comments.

Have a topic you'd like to see on Simply Squirrel Food? I'd love to hear from you! Send me an email.

Loose Lips & Loose Fingertips

The expression "Loose Lips May Sink Ships," was coined by the  U.S. Navy during WWII to remind sailors of the importance of keeping information out of the hands of the enemy. Though this expression may still be used by the military, civilians would be well-advised to embrace the concept as it pertains to modern-day social media use. An updated version of the expression might be "loose fingertips may bring pink slips".

Your personal enemy may not be planning an air, land and sea assault, yet the damage that can be done by thoughtless social media posts can be devastating in its own way. In fact, it's likely the 'enemy' is not an adversary at all, he's only your employer, customer or other person who has an interest in your online behavior. Online interactions should never be considered private communications. Following are some interesting examples:

• A very sociable employee of a large medical practice quickly became 'friends' with many of the doctors on Facebook. On more than one occasion doctors noted that she had made posts during working hours referring to how bored she was. It soon became apparent that there wasn't enough work to keep her busy so they eliminated her position.
• I read a very disrespectful tweet regarding President Obama made on the business account of a successful entrepreneur in the field of social media consulting. When called out on the unprofessional behavior his response was that his account had been hijacked. True or nice recovery?
• This was posted under Chrysler's Twitter account: "I find it ironic that Detroit is known as the #motorcity and yet no one here knows how to (bleeping) drive!" Seems the post was made by an individual in the social media agency hired by the automaker. His mistaken post to the wrong account not only cost him his job but the agency lost the account.
• A well-publicized event occurred when former NY Rep. Anthony Weiner's sexually suggestive Twitter pic resulted in great public humiliation and the loss of his seat in Congress.
• Recently the Minnesota Wild suspended Houston Aeros prospect Justin Fontaine for two games for using a gay slur in a tweet to a teammate during the Grammys award show. He soon followed-up by deleting the post and apologized, but not before it had been retweeted by another teammate.

What do these scenarios all have in common? It seems the posters' need to say something prevailed over common sense and professionalism. Social media sites are a great place to engage in conversational types of exchanges but are not private. Pay careful attention to everything you post online because like loose lips may sink ships it's also true that loose fingertips may bring pink slips.

Share stories of crazy posts you've seen in the comments section below. Thanks!

Have a topic you'd like to see on Simply Squirrel Food? I'd love to hear from you! Send me an email.

The Cents-Sense Scent Test

I love all of the kind and caring people who will step up to the plate for any good cause. In their virtual lives on social media sites they are no different. They are quick to act on any heart-tugging cause that begs them to quickly share a post as a way to raise funds for a victim. Unfortunately, they rarely apply The Cents-Sense Scent Test - better known as the 'wait a minute - does something smell fishy here' hesitation.

Who can resist wanting to help a baby, child, puppy or other defenseless being that is in great distress? Plus it won't cost any personal outlay of cash, some large benevolent organization will handle all of that. Facebook seems to be really generous, they're often shown as donating some cash amount for each time a post is shared. But wait a minute - let's apply the smell test. What is the connection between Facebook and the victim? Of all the many well-known charities Facebook may partner with, why are they singling this particular cause out? What does Facebook get in return for all the increased sharing activity? Pondering a few questions like these just might reveal a really bad smell.

The one that caught my attention last week was the picture of a badly injured dog and the information that the humane society would donate $1 for everytime it was shared on Facebook. It was easy to see how one of my friends was moved enough to want to help. But wait a minute - let's apply the smell test. Surely there are many injured dogs the humane society encounters routinely, what makes this case special? How is the humane society going to know how many times this post has been shared? Doesn't it raise some questions about why the humane society would delay treating this animal while it waits to see how much money has been collected? Which humane society is it anyway? 

A quick Google search of the caption: "This puppy was abused. For every 'share', the humane society will donate $1 towards his surgery" revealed the truth. There is a dog that was injured by someone throwing acid on him at a park in Taiwan 2 years ago. He has recovered and is now living with his new foster family. Though the facts still raise compassion for the animal, they also diminish the need to do something for him. In this particular case, it would be more prudent and rewarding to make a personal cash contribution to a local animal shelter or other established charity.

When you come across a post about some beleagured being that will benefit from your 'share' - before you do it - apply the Cents-Sense Scent Test. Does it actually raise cents and make sense or does it just smell?

Have a topic you'd like to see on Simply Squirrel Food? I'd love to hear from you! Send me an email.

Irksome Infomercials

Because I was having trouble falling asleep the other night, I started surfing. In just a few moments I encountered a myriad of different offers; some for body wraps that could melt away my pounds, a service that could fix my credit score, a few offers for self-improvement coaching, holistic healing therapies, weight loss hypnosis, and anti-aging remedies along with invitations to attend business seminars and fundraiser benefit events. No, I wasn't channel surfing...these were all offers from my 'friends' on my Facebook wall.

It is said the average American sees over 3,000 advertising impressions each and every day. So what makes the impressions plastered all over television, radio, newspapers, bus benches, websites etc. less offensive than those offered by my friends? Why am I less annoyed by a television commercial than I am about a marketing-type status update? For me it's quite simple, I accept traditional ads as standard business, but I friended these individuals as people, not businesses. How do I know the difference? People interact with each other.

Having been an entrepreneur I understand there can be a fine line between business and personal for many people. If you publish a self-help book, is an update of that personal or business? To me it doesn't matter, I'm looking for news about what you are doing. But when your update is a direct solicitation for me to buy, you've crossed the line of appropriateness. Set up a Facebook business page and share whatever you want with those who 'like' it.

Think of the Facebook newsfeed not as a bulletin board for your business endeavors but more as an online chat. Without personal interaction, your updates are less interesting to me than the ads I see on late night TV, just before I turn them off.

Have a topic you'd like to see on Simply Squirrel Food? I'd love to hear from you! Send me an email.

Facebook Funnies

It might be just me, but it seems that Facebook isn't as much fun as it was just a couple of years ago. And yes, I know, some of the younger crowd who were the pioneers of this great social experiment claim it hasn't been fun since they let all us old people in. 

I don't go to Facebook as a news source, though it is the first place I learned of Michael Jackson's death. Television, newspapers, Twitter and various online newspapers and blogs provide me an ample supply of world and local news. I go to Facebook as a social medium, a place to interact and converse with people. When people get together socially they usually do it for fun. Then it follows it is reasonable to expect that when we're on Facebook we're looking for fun.

For me the next best thing to actually being with people, is the joy of sharing their wit and humor virtually. I love the outrageousness of sitting all alone on my sofa in my old clothes, with messed up hair and no makeup and howling with laughter over the antics of my friends. And most of you are pretty funny...you know who you are! Let me share a couple of my favorite exchanges:

Me: I just figured out why refrigerators with freezers on the bottom are not all that great. It's too hard to get my head in there when I'm having a hot flash.
Sam: Women are lucky they don't get cold flashes, they'd be putting their head in the oven.

The day after I took home the first place trophy in a humorous speaking contest I was telling my husband I wasn't looking forward to going to his class reunion because there were going to be too many old people there. He replied: "Oh yeah, well I always wanted to go to a class reunion with a trophy wife, NOT one with a trophy". I quickly posted this on Facebook and asked "Should I kill him now?" Immediately Anne (from 2,000 miles and 2 time zones away) responded with "Yes, use the trophy".

Of course we still want to see pictures of your vacations, children and grandchildren. News of illness and passings are expected too. Continue sharing videos and cartoons. But what I love most, is the personal exchanges - the funnier the better! 

Please share some of the funniest exchanges you've enjoyed on Facebook (keep it clean!). It's Wednesday, we're all looking for a good laugh.

Have a topic you'd like to see on Simply Squirrel Food? I'd love to hear from you! Send me an email.

Repeating bleating...baa...baa!

Along with the old-time chain letters asking me to forward money or recipes, I never enjoyed the chain emails that promised good luck, money or a dream come true if it was forwarded to 10 friends within 60 seconds. Most of them had some dire consequence, usually bad luck, if I failed to follow through. I can understand why some of my superstitious friends wouldn't run the risk of the consequences, but I always wondered what kind of 'friend' would wish so much bad luck on me. Surely they knew I would never forward the message.


The 21st century version is the Facebook status chain. They can be about any number of topics ranging from hating cancer, valuing freedom, loving our daughters/sons/mothers/fathers/pets - the list goes on and on. A popular one about cancer reads something like this:

Do you hate cancer and know someone who has cancer, died from cancer, or is caring for someone with cancer? 97% of my friends won't re-post this, but 3% will. Let's see who does. Please re-post this in honor of someone who lost their battle or for someone fighting it now.

What is the purpose of a status update like this? Nobody likes cancer and unfortunately everybody knows someone who has been affected by it. It's pointless to tell the cyber world how you feel. Posting and re-posting it does not honor or support anyone.

So, if you’ve ever owned a pair of shoes that matched, suffered from the pain of a pair that didn't quite fit, or plan on ever buying more (or any other such information we can easily assume) please resist the urge to re-post. It's okay to not post if you can't think of something original or at least more entertaining to share.


Have a topic you'd like to see on Simply Squirrel Food? I'd love to hear from you! Send me an email.

The Party Principle

Being a sociable person, I initially took to Facebook and Twitter like a duck to water. I thought it was a great way to connect and re-connect with people from all parts of my life. I quickly determined that my gift for smalltalk was a good match for these platforms. Anybody who knows me is all too aware I never have, and probably never will, run out of things to say.

Yet it is apparent that many people are not as comfortable airing their thoughts to the world as I am. Some have become downright terrified of the possibility of looking dumb or revealing too much. To help relieve their fears I offer one simple rule:

The Party Principle:
 
Post the types of things you'd be comfortable saying at a large party that is attended by people you know well, some you've just met and others you don't know at all. If you wouldn't stand in the middle of the room and announce something there for everyone to hear, then think twice before you post it on Facebook or Twitter.

Abiding by this simple little rule should eliminate the volatile topics of sex, politics and religion as well as quash all whining - but it doesn't.  And as simple as it seems, it sure leaves a lot of room for gray area. It also shows that some people just wouldn't be that much fun to party with.
 
Picture this: you walk into a party and spot an old friend you haven't seen in more than 10 years. You're excited to see her and can't wait to hear how she's been. You say "hi" and she responds with:
 
"Justin made poo-poo in the potty today"

Immediately you cringe and think: Great news! I'm sure Mom and Dad are delighted, Grandpa and Grandma must be proud too. Send them pictures! But please, spare me the details. You quietly slip away, knowing there has to be other people nearby with more interesting things to talk about.  

Is this situation absurd? Of course it is, none of our friends would behave like that at a party (hopefully)! Then why is it okay to do basically the same thing on Facebook? Remember The Party Principle, we'll be referring to it often.

Have a topic you'd like to see on Simply Squirrel Food? I'd love to hear from you! Send me an email.