Friends and Frenemies

Almost everybody has heard the quote "Keep your friends close and your enemies even closer". Though the origins of the quote seem ancient and undocumented, modern lore attributes it to Vito Corleone as cited by his son Michael in The Godfather Part II. Surely, this advice is in play in social media these days with people accepting nearly every 'friend' request that comes their way. Probably, more than once, we've engaged in frenemy tactics by friending the enemy.

A frenemy is someone who poses as a friend but is more apt to be a rival of some sort. The most likely way this happens is by friending people at work. Unless you are the chief executive of your company, at least a few of your work friends are probably at the same job level as you - and as human nature would have it, some peers do not want you to be more successful than them. Allowing them an indepth view of your life via your Facebook profile and postings could prove to be problematic. Of course, not accepting their friend requests will result in trouble too.

Family members disguised as friends can be another issue entirely. Family members, both close and extended, are like co-workers and neighbors. You don't get to pick them but you have to figure out how to get along with them. This is completely opposite from how we develop true friendships. But in the world of social media, they're all lumped together - the good with the difficult. Dealing with family on Facebook can be like sitting at the Thanksgiving dinner table - bring your best manners and hope they remember their's too. Holiday gatherings often conjure up stories of events long ago, but nobody on Facebook needs to read how funny it was when you wet your pants in first grade. Agree to adopt the motto: "What happens in the family, stays in the family".

A small survey done last year by Eversave showed that 84% of Facebook users admit to being annoyed by friends on Facebook with their #1 pet-peeve being complainers. Also making the list were: political posts, brags about perfect lives, and too many updates about precious kids. These grievances were revealed by the survey but I'm sure many of us have a fairly lengthy list of our own. Here are a few I would add: being marketed and sold to, the brainiac who publicly corrects everybody's spelling and grammar, posting offensive and obnoxious photos gleaned from some website specializing in off-color content.

So what are we to do?

• Create and use lists by sorting friends from frenemies
• Unsubscribe from frenemy updates
• When all else fails: Unfriend

More Godfather advice, this time from Michael Corleone: "Never hate your enemies, it clouds your judgement". 

Do you have any known frenemies on Facebook? Why did you friend them? What behaviors bother you enough to label them as frenemies?

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